i must admit.. my teenage years' probably sucked.
juggling between school, drama classes, cca, modelling, etc..
surprisingly, i had spare time to go on a dating spree.
dated too many guys that werent compatible..
frankly, im very picky when it came to soulmate preferences.
im against
smokers, drinkers, abusive jerks, people with tattoo/piercings.half the time, i land myself with those kind of men.
i believe people might change if the world stops stereotyping them..
everyone deserves a certain extend of chances in life..
if you dont give them the chance, who will? dont cha think?
ive wasted many chances in life in deserving a suitable partner..
when i get myself an exceptionally good one, i decide to let go
jus because a friend/relative is also in love with him..
sacrifices. yes, i did love them but i didnt think i deserved them.
all these while, i regret doing so cos others were happy but, not me.
i stood by 2 rships, hoping for a miracle.. it never came.
though i learnt a lot from saiful & farhan, it just wasnt the kind im searching for..
i needed a rship where i could find a deeper meaning..
be it in love, in life.. basically everything in a matured rship.
i never regretted those two but i think we're just too young..
dated
Ryan, Giacomo,
Ricardo, Beni, Daniel, Nevada,
Hisham, Razak, Michael
they're the exceptional ones.. the rest was err..
beyond hope?
i appreciated all they're efforts of tryna win me over but i let them down
the more effort they put, the more i wanna drive them away..
call me
foolish if you want to, they're all successful guys
but i had my reasons.. stupid ones i think.
now, i dont wanna make the same mistakes once more..
ive made too many losses in life.. i was simply
way too compassionate towards others
imagine having someone loving & caring about you yet you ignore them
or even plead/make havoc so they'll move on without you.. i was plain dumb.
literally dumb. thinking back, i prolly shouldnt regret much now.
if i hadnt let them go, i wouldnt have met the
guy i love right now..
yes, he may be a little temperamental & edgy.
but he's still very
loving, always
concern of my well being at the expense of his.
many kept insisting that i move along & find someone better..
hmm.. why should i?
i love him very much though he's a pain in the arse
but i know that im probably a nuisance for disturbing him half the time..
take pictures/videos of him while he sleeps then LMAO before deleting them((:
i cant say he's a terrible boyf cos he's definitely not.
he's just plain kuku.. always up to silly antics that makes me burst out laughing
people may go ahead & make plenty judgements about me but..
thats never gonna change the fact that i am being
me.. accept it.
im nice to people who deserves it(: i love my irritatingly
lovable boyfand nothings gonna ever alter that. i love my
family, nadiah, cheryl, sammie,
tammy, liha, sue, joelle, ally & most definitely,
myself.btw Ryan,
im sorry i couldnt tell you sooner that im already attached..
i didnt have your contact since you left for Germany without a word.
hopefully you've complete your degree.. you can always visit spore
but we can no longer meet up. im exceptionally surprised by your call though..
never knew that you still kept my contact. anyway, well wishes.
send my regards to Adrian, Audrey & Ruth.. gdbye.
