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Baby, don't say goodbye.


about me .


♫♪♥A²DeeLA™
TWENteen, popular & saucy!
am i single or attached? hmm..
5th June 1989
gemini the twins
BuKit View Pri
St. MarGaret'S sEc
ItE cOlleGe WeSt (CleMeNti)
please leave if you despise me ((:
i love my baby, so quit trying-


precious .
GOD AlMighty
cherished, my FaMily
am Obsessed with myself
iLy gFF, Nadiah
thaHOTsexy boyfriendOFmine(:

accessories.clubbing.cute hot guys.
movies.drama/acting.music.
cooking.household chores.gym trainings.
making new friends((:
chocolates.intriguing storybooks.
prettydresses.ben&jerrys.
tasmania plushies (:
mocha/caramel frappe!slurps-
mascaras&eyeliners
everlast.adidas.nike.
chaos.forever21.mango.
photography.photoshop&photoscape.
cottonon.la senza.zara.
victoria secrets. apple bottoms.
vintage inspired clothings.
charles&keith.heatwave.
mondo.pedro women.
dressups for great occasions
brownsparkly eyeshadows!


tagboard .


execrated .
deceived
emotional abuse! *shriek-
traumatic incidents
overwhelmed by questions
falling in love!!*sobb*
any form of betrayal
being treated like a fool
being TOO fickle
desperate guys*major turnoff!*
ending up cashless
treachery
backstabbed?
being disconsolidated
clubbing buayas
iHATEmyself for being too nice )):


desired .
meeting my baby, someday :D
lose weight & shape up
paramour, sincerely for keeping
new handphone !
a GIRLSday Out! (:
be the beauty with brains
being appreciated & loved
dragonboating, kayaking , canoeing
erm.. some real friends?
go travelling round the World (:
karaoke-ing
learn to eradicate irritants from life
change my room decor ((:
bowling? pool?


goals/achievements .
keeping this relationship alive
get into a arts & sports cca
ite Student Council
lose weight to 48kg or toned up
bday gift hunting!help-
'A's my results,'B's at least
vacation with MokCitDut!(:
GPA 4.0 with scholarship *wishing-
find a stable career!
engagement? marriage?!


links .
AdeQ AdeQ AdeQ Adam Etty Zach Cheryl Kak ZyZy Sammie Ewin Azza Tammy Ezah Ally Amalina Amber Chloe Faiz Farhana Ivey Mahera Naomi Sabrina Suat Eya Sharin Sharina Dayana Prada Syasya Richard Jason Pereira Shahrul Adam Aidil Colin Hasrul Hasan Hui Ting Syazwani Ila Syerzan Fye Student Council Natalie Azura Farah Nimo Aaron Atiqah Dion Doreen Ezekiel FarahLiyana Indra Mastura Sharon Suliana Syuhana Kai Wani Sakinah Fazli Mudathir Nas Nasri Syahirul Fazul Alif Qaiyyum Zahier JieJun
StudioFrost BonitoChico Oakley MysticalFragrance MysticalFragrance
melodies .



archives .

August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009

Wednesday, 31 December 2008 { 02:54:00 }

currently, i cant sleep.. idk whether isit the gastric or what..
gotta wake up by 5:45am so i can report earlier for the orientation.
i havent been eating properly lately.. well, since 26th actually..
just didnt feel the urge to eat so i ate only once a day
so since i cant sleep, im gonna cleanse my brain from unhealthiness
bear with me, cos this is gonna be an immensely long entry!

i wanna start 2009 with a clear conscience..
no baggage of heartbreaks/ traumatizing events since 2007
as i didnt start my 2008 properly..
there’s a few questions lingering in my head currently,
i’ll list all as the entry goes by okay? (:

since September 2007, i wonder why i:
was keen on meeting him at Velvet Dragon;
agreed on the date to the beach though we’ve only met once,;
decided why he was way better than the other 20plus guys;
find him suitable though he drank, smoke & had piercing;

after that im uncertain to why i stayed though:
he left me for some matters for more than a month;
i heard conflicting stories about him since the first month;
we had the worst 1st major argument in Jan’08;
he despises me being in ite & my“new”friends;
i gotta know about his secrets by accident while doing spring cleaning;
i couldnt meet any of my friends but he could;
he was against almost all of my interests that ive been accredited for;
he said that A liking him was my misjudgments when i notice otherwise;
he kept asking A to come along on our outings even to JB;
i was humiliated in front of A & all she did was smirk at me;
he went out alone with A while im in school & got my gfs questioning;
i find out about E, things they did & him lying about it until confrontation;
i was emotionally & physical bruised;
he has overwhelmingly weird accounts over the web;
i knew too much about his life before me;

now, somehow i:
still find it extremely hard to trust him when he says he has to OT;
dont find security & comfort in his arms like i used to;
envy his ex gfs cos they were either rich, can cook, gorgeous, working;
can never be better than any of his previous partners;
still feel he still love his first gf & she’ll always be the perfect one;
was kept away from so many things he did behind my back;
couldnt make him laugh like when we first got to know each other;
never manage to please him in any way..

haiz.. thats about it. ive let all this out. i chose not to keep any of this
i feel more cleansed right now.. probably i can sleep now.
wanna apologize if the post seemed kinda hurtful to you,
forgive me, i just gotta let out all of the sudden doubts & insecurity

i’ll prevent harping on the past in 2009, its harmful to the rship
i hope you understand.. i dont mean to mislead you..
i dont wish to think you’re useless cos i know you can & will change
gonna keep having faith that you’ll quit those nonsense..

have a pleasant morning everyone..
well wishes for the new year!