Tuesday, 30 June 2009
{ 03:16:00 }
for some inexplicable reason, when your voice rings through my body, my deepest
emotion engorges and vacillates with the overwhelming essence of loneliness.
and such a urge amounts from wishing to be where you are,
because nothing else seems to matter, seems to compliment and waver with
the emotion i never thought i could have known,
that only you have manged to evoke.
and this seems to be the only explanation i can offer up
as to why i quiver and shake in my solitude, and in the presence of
the very thought of you.. you introduced yourself by your name,
i would never want to enjoy anything more about you, than what you offer up
to me personally, simply because thats how my ideals manifest.
i tried to flatter something more, and not only was i put out of character,
but to this day, i think you took it the wrong way.
which is why, again, i can never say what i'd like to say,
and this time, i dont think so much that this 'fate' will work in my favor.
you may be the first thing in years that ive wanted but couldnt have.
sometimes my spine is too weak to hold my bashful and timid head upon my shoulders,
just to say the things i feel, for fear of something completely unknown.
you do to me without even a single ounce of effort what hundreds have tried,
and failed before they could even have a chance to start.
i will mourn the day i met you, the day you told me your name.
and i will mourn the day i met you,
when you showed me something im sure you didnt mean to.
i will mourn that day, because i know what i never would have even dreamed
of knowing, and now when i hear your voice, you knock down my walls
so elegantly built, and understanding engulfs my knowledge that there is something
better than solitude, and with that comes the regret.
ignorance has always been my bliss, and i had always understood that i couldnt
desire something i didnt know or understand, and now i know, and now my body aches.
and solitude has always been my company.
keeping me quiet and sane.
solitude has always fortified my mind, and now, youve left it susceptible.
and now, all i can say is that its such a sad thing that
im such an awkward being for a match to my ideas and thoughts i could never find,
but so docile am i that i could never admit to it,
never approach you and everything you think,
and everything that i am that i see in you.. ive missed you, 22062009.
